@unforth-ninawaters replied to your post “Maybe I shouldn’t be so jealous or petty but it bothers me that my…”
*hugs* I saw the other comments and replies to this…a certain type of manipulative abuser courts young, vulnerable or dependent people outside the family and treats them like gold. It shores them up in the public eye and in their own head it’s a way to hide from that niggling guilt that they done fucked up.
In these cases the ploy only works if they aren’t around the other person much. The more exposure the more the masquerade starts to wear off. I’ve seen this play out with my grandfather, FIL, and a friend in college. It’s not about you and is not your fault. He couldn’t care for you or treat you like you deserved because he’s incapable of that, just as he truly is incapable of It with the youth he’s mentoring. Because his kindness isn’t about them, it’s always about
Himself, and again – the longer they’re with him the more evident that will become. Hopefully they’ll have the tools to recognize the signs, cause I wouldn’t want them to be hurt, just as I wish you hadn’t been hurt.
*hugs* Thanks. I really do hope that something falls through and he doesn’t actually do mentoring or they recognize that he’s not fit for it.
What’s always pissed me off, aside from the fact that he was out mentoring other kids instead of being a father was that he was always so much better and more inspiring to them than he was at home. I get why he does it I just wish he wouldn’t for a million reasons. I hate that he gets away with it and I hate that I can’t really do anything about it. He doesn’t listen and he doesn’t really seem to get it when he’s called on his behavior or he gets defensive and… yeah. He’s a pain in the ass. It’s not fair and it’s not okay but talking about it and having people who support me helps a lot.
Hopefully something falls through and it doesn’t work out or they recognize he’s not fit for the job.