Tag: unforth-ninawaters

@unforth-ninawaters
That’s the way I see it. Like, if other people wanna use different terms for themselves or different gender-neutral pronouns (like xe or ey) that’s totally fine but I don’t want to make things complicated for myself or others. It’s a little confusing as it is that while I look and sound like a woman, I am not. I just know what feels right and makes sense to me. If there’s already a term that works I don’t see an issue with using it.

Also, kinda side note but I think about this in terms of my name, too. My “real name” isn’t Rose. Well, Rose is my middle name but whatever. My first name has “Lee” in it (yeah, it’s one of those trendy white girl names) so I could go by Lee and save a lot of trouble but… I kinda hate it. Like, idk, it just bugs the hell out of me. I had sone teachers in school call me Lee because they had trouble pronouning my first name and it just grates on my nerves.

@unforth-ninawaters replied to your post

I’ve used SO – for significant other – when I used to confront the problem that if I said “girlfriend” people might think I meant my friend who was a girl instead of the person I was dating. Perk of being married, now I can just say wife, no confusion to that one (though I still get people who reply to my saying “wife” by saying partner or something and I’m like ?????) I’ve never heard Date-mate, that’s weird to me. It sounds to me like a product to, like, freshen your

breath for a date.

*snorts* People are so odd. You’d think wife would be obvious and not up for correction, but apparently not. 

I think date-mate is a tumblr thing. I’ve seen the push for it to be used and I’m like… there are other words that don’t sound silly. Like, whatever, I’m not judging, but if someone called me their date-mate I’d give them a pretty hard side-eye.

SO, partner, prarmour, those are all fine. Those work. Hell, girlfriend or boyfrined could be fine too as long as I’m not exclusively one or the other, but it’s the slightly silly ones that bug me. Granted, I don’t have to worry about that because I’m not dating atm, but it is something I think about.  

@unforth-ninawaters replied to your post

I can see him being rough with them – after all, he’s rough with them when he shows up in S1…

Yup! 

Like, what blows me away is when I see things like “if you think John was a bad dad you probably didn’t watch the first two seasons” and I’m like…. no I watched the first two seasons. I watched John use one of his sons as bait, blame his other son for not killing the monster, almost get in a fist fight with one of his sons, be rough with both of them, ignore Dean’s tearful and worried phone calls, ignore the fact that one of his sons ALMOST FUCKING DIED, and yelled at one of his kids for not killing him. 

A+. Dad of the year material, right there. 

@unforth-ninawaters replied to your post

Yeah Ren always sounds to me like the 16 year old protagonist of a JPRG.

lol. Yes! It’s just a little too, “fictional” sounding for me. 

If there’s an alternative that sounds more natural, I’d be happy to use it. Like, I prefer “paramour” or “partner”  to “date-mate”, too. “Date-mate” sounds like a board game title. 

@unforth-ninawaters replied to your post

For drug use I think it depends what we’re defining as drugs. I tend not to think of pot as a drug, at least not in the dangerous way. It’s basically canon that Dean at least has smoked weed. Emotional abuse and manipulation for both Dean and Sam is also canon. For harder drugs, I’m not so sure (cocaine, heroine, etc) but I lean toward no – maybe psychotropics, that seems a little more in character – and I’m on the fence about physical abuse.

(pre-series mental illness is imo as much as a given as during-season mental illness)

The thing for physical abuse is…my inclination is that John didn’t hit them, didn’t beat them in the traditional sense. But I do think his neglect shaded into what would probably legally constitute physical abuse – both in terms of food deprivation, etc., but also in the “it’s just a little scratch quit being such a baby, be a man” kind of way – leaving them to suffer through injuries that COULD have been succored if John wasn’t so fixated on “toughening them up.”

And yeah, I agree that’s both Dean and Sam. I do NOT think in canon that John did any form of sexual abuse against the boys, nor do I think it very likely that Sam had to turn to prostitution – Dean would never have let that happen.

I can see psychotropics. I wouldn’t put it past Dean to at least try things here and there but I’m not sure if it would pass experimentation. 

It’s funny to me because I posted a thing about Dean having anxiety a while back and the response was basically “yeah, totally”. I thought I was going to have to explain that one, but it seems like everyone I talk to is just like “yup, mental illness is a given”. Which is fine. 

I can definitely see John letting them suffer through injuries he doesn’t deem “serious” enough. I don’t think they were ever hit or sexually abused, but I do think they could have been grabbed or smacked or shoved in ways that might’ve left bruises, even if they were unintentional. I seem to be the outlier in that respect, but I feel like it could have happened a few times. I don’t think John would have intentionally hit his kids, but I think he might have been rough with them. 

And yeah, there is no way Sam would have had to turn to prostitution. Unless he was alone at the time, Dean wouldn’t allow it. 

@unforth-ninawaters replied to your post

I even kinda hate it – I hate that John W being a douche bag put Dean in the position of being young and desperately needing money. He had to be an adult so early. Even if he didn’t have to turn to prostitution we know he turned to theft and other crime. He had so few choices and was so determined to support Sam as John was unwilling to do. Poor Dean.

Like I don’t find in sexy (no offense to those who do) I find it fucking tragic.

Incoming John Winchester rant. 

I hate him. Like, I don’t like to use that word a lot and especially not for fictional characters, but I really do hate him. I hate that he put a child in the situations that required that child to be the full-time caregiver of another child. I hate that he put Dean in the position to learn to fight and kill and understand that there were things out in the dark that wanted to kill him at a young age. I hate that Dean was desperate enough he stole to feed Sam. I hate that he was neglectful. I hate that he was emotionally abusive. I hate that the last thing he said to Dean was “Sorry for sucking. BTW you mihgt have to kill Sam. Okay, bye!” I hate John Winchester. And I hate that sometimes his actions are supposed to be “justified”. Like, maybe it’s me as a child of an abusive alcoholic but I hate that he gets defended. I don’t believe he was doing his best. He may have loved his kids, but he wasn’t doing what was right by them. And I hate the justification is usually “but the apocalypse!”. Fuck the apocalypse, he could have done better! He didn’t have to be neglectful and abusive in order to keep his kids safe. He didn’t have to put Dean in a position where he was that desperate to steal, let  alone whatever else he might have done. 

Okay, end rant. 

But yeah. I agree that it’s a tragedy. A Pretty Woman type AU is a lot difffernt from canon verse, imo, so I am a bit torn on reading about it. I don’t find it all that appealing in canon verse, but to each their own. 

@unforth-ninawaters replied to your post:
@unforth-ninawaters replied to your post …um…hes…

I wouldn’t say I like it but when I specifically consider canon I think it’s pretty damn likely.

Oh, definitely. It’s one of those things that will probably never be clear cut undeniable fact but that’s one of a few things I would say are more likely than not. That and drug use, emotional abuse (possible physical abuse as well) and pre-series mental illness, I think it’s there just not talked about. (Those last three are for both Dean and Sam.)

@unforth-ninawaters replied to your post

…um…hes trying to make money to get food for Sam so he goes to hustle pool and some asshole says he’s got pretty eyes and offers him 10 bucks if Dean will blow him and Dean is so desperate he says yes…as it turns out he doesn’t mind the “it’s a dude” part but all the rest fucking sucks…

Reasonable. 

Personal tastes and all, but I’m not much of a fan of the prostitution angle. I get it, it’s just not my bag. 

@unforth-ninawaters
Well, if you can’t rant on your personal blog what’s it for, right? But I get what you mean. I still feel like I wanna help, ‘cause that’s the kind of person I am. But I’ll kerp in mind there isn’t anything I can do to “fix it”. I’ll just support you with likes and internet hugs.

And thank you. Maybe I should start telling myself that an a daily basis until I believe it or at least remember it.

@unforth-ninawaters
*hugs*
I really hate that you’re going through the same thing. It’s such a pain in the ass.
I’ve read a few of your posts, too, over the past little bit. I wanted to say something to help you feel a little better, but I don’t have any thing that can make it easier (obviously, given my issues, too). I just hope you can allow yourself to take a breather and have some fun with writing. It’s no fun if it’s all too stressful.