Despite being an open book for the most part, I usually need to be asked for information. I keep my thoughts, feelings, ideas, and desires close to the chest and have been known to shut people out and isolate when things get too much for me. 

I enjoy sharing things about myself, but I rarely do it unprompted. I have friends I’ve known for a decade who don’t know what I’ve been up to or what’s happened in my life for the past three years. 

Send me flowers, I’ll tell you whatever I want.

When I was four I was given a baby doll for my birthday. He was my favorite toy for as long as I can remember and I played with him constantly. I made clothes for him and everything. The strange thing about this doll was that I named him Philo Klem. I’m not kidding. I have no idea where I got that name or why I gave him that name, but that was his name. And no one ever tried to get me to name that doll something sensible, either. He was just my baby, Philo. 

Send me flowers, I’ll tell you whatever I want. 

During my senior year of high school, my AP English teacher was out for the entire year with health issues. As a result, we had a steady sub who wasn’t qualified to actually teach but was a super nice guy. He was the girl’s tennis coach and we called him Coach Pirate because he had an eye patch and a really long beard he actually braided. Three years later I met him again in college in a class on early Christianity. He was getting his degree so he could teach history. 

Send me flowers, I’ll tell you whatever I want. 

When I was in first grade I broke my right arm (doing one of the aforementioned dumb things that I didn’t understand could hurt me). As a result, I learned spelling and handwriting with my left hand first. I’m more or less functionally ambidextrous and I do still switch hands occasionally when texting, eating, or writing. 

Send me flowers, I’ll tell you whatever I want.  

I was a strange child who had trouble understanding that if I did things that could hurt me, I would get hurt. I once cut my upper lip in half with a pair of scissors because I wanted to see what would happen.

Send me a flower, I’ll tell you anything I want.