🔪🚬🐱😭👼

jhoomwrites:

“I’m
sorry, but there’s no smoking in the restaurant.”

Balthazar looks absolutely
scandalized. “Excuse me?”

“We’ve got a no smoking policy,”
the server says as he drops off their drinks. “So no cigarettes.”

“We’re outside,”
Balthazar protests. “We’re on the patio.”

The server stares down at
Balthazar, looking less and less impressed with him as the conversation went
on. “Still drinking our drinks and eating our food, aren’t you?” He doesn’t
wait for Balthazar to respond. “So still the restaurant, ain’t it? Put out the
cigarette, or leave.”

Balthazar appraises the man in
front of him as he puts out the cigarette. “If I were to ask to speak with your
manager…?”

“Then I’d be happy to inform you
that I am the manager. And the co-owner.” His expression softens
a little. “Look, we got guests who come in with allergies and stuff. As someone
with a cat allergy, I totally get the not breathing thing. We try to make it as
comfortable as possible for everyone. So no smoking.”

Now Balthazar’s interest is
piqued. “You serve at your own restaurant? How… plebian of you.”

That’s
what you got out of everything I said?” The man shakes his head and stares at
Cas, who’s quietly been smirking at the whole exchange. “Honestly, Cas, where
you get these guys?”

“Cas?” Balthazar repeats
suspiciously.

“Balthazar is an old friend from
college. He’s something of a culinary snob, and I knew only your burgers would
do.” He gestures between the two men. “Balthazar, this is Dean. Dean,
Balthazar.”

“Awesome.” Dean winks at Cas
before turning back to Balthazar. “Guess if Cas is vouching for you, you can’t
be half bad. I’ll be back with your burgers in a bit.”

As soon as he’s out of earshot,
Balthazar rounds on Cas. “I can’t believe you took me to a restaurant just so
you could flirt with the hot owner.”

Cas blushes. “I didn’t—that’s not
why—”

“Oh, hush.” Balthazar rolls his
eyes. Cas has always been so damned obvious about this sort of thing. He
remembers Cas drunkenly crying to him about that Daphne girl after (badly)
flirting with her at a party. Of course when he’d sobered up, he’d been too
embarrassed to ever talk about it again and had avoided Daphne like the plague.
“Clearly you need my help. The poor man’s as into you as you are him, and you
two are such idiots neither’s made the first move.”

“Dean doesn’t—he-he wouldn’t—”
Cas swallows thickly. “You really think he’s interested?”

Seconds later, Dean drops off
their burgers. “Farmer’s Market for you,” he says as he sets down Balthazar’s
meal. “And Honey Mustard Delight for the angel,” he says as he places Cas’
burger down.

Cas digs in and Balthazar wants
to smack him for being so oblivious. “Seriously? Was that not clear?”

“What?”

“He called you angel.
That, Cassie, is a flirtation if I ever saw one.”

“No it wasn’t. He’s just being friendly.”
Even Cas looks like he doesn’t quite believe it.

“Either you ask that man for his
number, or I’ll do it for you. We are not leaving here until you do it.”

Balthazar continues to glare at
Cas menacingly whenever Dean stops by their table to check on them, but Cas
remains frustratingly quiet. Honestly, Balthazar doesn’t know how much more
pitiful longing he can take before he goes stabs himself with his butter knife.
That would have to be less painful than watching these two bumble
through a courtship.

When Dean comes to pick up the
check, Balthazar shoots Cas a warning look. Cas tries to ignore him, so he
kicks Cas under the table.

I hate you, Cas mouths before turning to Dean.

“Dean, are you busy this evening?”

“Huh? Oh, I don’t think so.
Benny’s comin’ in to take over the night shift, so I won’t be working if that’s
what you’re asking. Why, what’s up?”

“Would you be interested in
maybe… going out for dinner? With me, I mean, if that wasn’t clear—” Another
kick stops his babbling and forces a somewhat pained smile.

“On a date?” Dean asks slowly.

“Yes?”

Dean smiles brightly. “Sure
thing, Cas. You mind swinging by the restaurant around five? If we’re going out
on a date, I wanna show off you off in my Baby.”

Balthazar’s head whips around at
that, but Cas seems to understand whatever the hell that
means, so he doesn’t say anything.

“I can do that. Five o’clock
then.”

“Awesome. I look forward to it.”

“Me too, Dean.”

send me 3-5 emojis and i’ll write you a ficlet about them

feredir:

Vagabonds (DCBB 2017)

Author: chevrolangels | Artist: feredir

Dean is a sheriff in a tiny town in Colorado, restless and unsatisfied with his life. It’s not what he’s read about in the dime novels since he was little, capturing dangerous outlaws and being the last word of the law. More like tossing the town drunk in a cell to sober up when he gets a little too rowdy. But his chance comes when a thief rolls through their town. Dean pursues the thief, and that puts him right into the path of Emmanuel, a notorious outlaw. When he’s captured by the outlaw and his gang to be held for ransom, he starts off on a journey he could have never envisioned, and learns that perhaps there’s more to Emmanuel than meets the eye.

Read on AO3

Okay. So Stanford era Dean, meets Cas a surly scruffy hunter multiple times, who is a damn genius with knives and always wears gloves on hunts (cause finger prints dean) and is just the hottest guy Deans ever seen, and Dads gone. Sams gone. He’s feeling a bit rebellious and a bit experimental. Except Cas, just happens to be a Remus lupin style werewolf… thoughts?

bamf-castiel:

This is WONDERFUL Nonnie, and I am having A LOT of thoughts about it, so.
I have a feeling this is gonna turn into a mini series ahhh 
Warning for a little gore and canon typical violence.  

Now that Dean thinks about it, deciding to take out a whole nest of vampires only by himself might actually have been a little miscalculation on his part.
He tries to catch his breath while he watches his savior decapitate the last vampire in one effortless movement, the long blade cutting skin and tissue with almost surgical precision.
How the hell he makes it look that easy? Dean has honestly no idea ; he knows from experience that it’s actually a fucking hard thing to do.
And yet, the stranger doesn’t even seem to be out of breath as he looks down on the body laying on the ground, the head motionless right next to it, where it landed with a dull thud.
Dean never saw anyone move like that ; from the moment he walked though the door, dude was like a machine. It was like the machete was not just a tool but simply an extension of his arm.
And it paled in compared to what he did with the knife he pulled out in the middle of the fight.

He sliced the vampire open, from the belly to the base of the throat – how the fuck, there are bones in the way – and yanked the blade out – military, ten inches, sharp as hell – like it was nothing. The creature made a sound, awful and loud and wet, the blood coming out of it’s mouth landing on the man’s face, and then it’s head was off, rolling on the floor.
The hunter didn’t even slow down, grabbing the next vampire’s hair.
Dean would watch longer if he could, but the kick to his thigh successfully  directed his whole attention to the sharp teethed monster on his left.

Dean know he’s good – very good – but next to this man he feels like a complete amateur. He winces when his boots make a terrible squelching sound when he moves ( God, did he step on intestines? please don’t let it be intestines ) and suddenly the stranger is looking straight at him.
There are smears of blood on his face and clothes, some still fresh and some already starting to dry. And maybe it’s the red that makes Dean notice it, but the man has incredibly blue eyes, almost unnaturally so, bright even in the dim light of the old naked bulb swinging from the ceiling.
He spits and slowly runs his tongue over his teeth – they look sharp, like everything about him – and then, he asks, „What the fuck were you thinking?”
Dean is part distracted by how low and rough the man’s voice is, part really, really offended, but before he can answer with anything else but a choked out ’what’ , the stranger speaks again.
„That’s what I would like to know, ” he says calmly, looking around and then, finding what he was looking for, he steps over a corpse and grabs a shirt hanging on the leg of an overturned table. He wipes the blade, looks at Dean again and sighs, „ Are you okay?”
Dean wants to say a lot of things – he really does, starting from how he was doing pretty good, thank you very much, it’s not like he asked to be rescued, and also hey, fuck you.
In the end he settles on a simple, „Yeah, I’m good.”
The man nods and then looks around.

„Let’s clean this up.”


The barn bursts into flames, the roar of the fire almost deafening, the heat making Dean take few steps back.
Castiel – getting rid of evidence and dead bodies makes you close enough to exchange names – leans on his car, ankles crossed, and takes out a pack of cigarettes from the inside pocket of his jacket. He offers Dean one and he accepts, letting Castiel light it for him and inhaling the smoke; it tastes almost like the air around them, gasoline and fire and death.
They stand in silence, and Dean can’t help but look at the other hunter; there is still dried blood on his clothes and hands and face, his eyes wild and dark as he watches the dancing flames.
Dean can feel a blush creeping up his neck that has nothing to do with the fire when he looks at Castiel’s lips as they close around the cigarette.
He has a strong jawline, sharp cheekbones and straight nose, dark stubble covering his cheeks and neck ; he’s Dean’s height – maybe a little shorter, board shoulders and strong hands, probably in his early thirties.
He’s handsome, in a way Dean is still a little to young to be.
It makes Dean’s heart beat faster, for some reason; how there is nothing of a boy anymore in the man’s features.
He looks up only to see Castiel’s eyes focused on his own.
Dean quickly looks away,  his hand trembling as he raises the cigarette to his lips and inhales, slowly letting the smoke curl in his mouth, letting it calm his nerves.
His voice sounds rough when he says, „Thanks for, you know, saving my ass back there,”
Castiel only hums and sends the remaining cigarette butt flying with a flick of fingers. He pushes away from the car and stands in front of Dean, his silhouette completely black against the flames. He looks to the side, to the abandoned house next to the barn and the forest that surrounds it.

„Let’s get away from here.”


That’s how Dean finds himself trailing the Continental, first to a obscure gas station, where they visit the bathroom to wash off the worst of blood and change into clean clothes, and then to a bar.
Dean knows he should probably be more cautious, but there is something exciting about it, about working with someone who isn’t Bobby or John or a friend of theirs.

Castiel orders whisky, straight, and when he looks questioningly at Dean he asks for the same – he needs something stronger to wash out the taste of smoke and blood still lingering in his mouth.

They end up sitting at a table in a corner, far away from the rest of the patrons.
Dean takes a sip of his drink, relishing in the way it burns all the way down, the taste alone making his muscle relax.
It’s a dangerous relationship, he knows, feeling like that about whisky.
If Castiel notices, he doesn’t say anything, instead leaning back on the chair.
„So, Dean,” his voice dips lower, sounding even rougher thanks to the smoke, „What the fuck were you thinking about when you decided that you can take out a whole nest of vampires alone?”
Dean bristles, hand tightening on the glass; he thought they leaved THAT part behind, but apparently not.
„Hey, fuck you,” he snaps, „I knew what I was doing, I’m not an amateur.”
Castiel doesn’t look too bothered by his anger. He also doesn’t look too convinced; he hums, taking a sip from his glass, „ Oh I could see that. It was beautifully accented when those two jumped at you from behind. Did you even know they were there before they had you on the floor?”
Dean clenches his teeth hard enough to feel the muscles of his jaw jump; he knows he fucked up – there is really no need to rub this into his face.
Not now, not when he’s way too aware of what would his dad say about this kind of incompetence.
„Dean, look at me,” the gentle command in Cas’s voice is unmistakable, and after a moment Dean looks up, right into those bright, bright blue eyes.
„ That’s the thing Dean – you are not an amateur. I know. You are good,” Castiel leans a little bit closer, „ But if you won’t be more careful, you will never get the chance to be anything more than that. You will die a stupid death like hundreds before you, before you really learn anything. And you can be very, very good, Dean. The potential is there, but it’s your decision what you will do with it,” he straightens and Dean can finally breathe again; to be the center of Castiel’s attention can be suffocating.

„ If you are only willing to listen I can get us another round,” he nods at their drinks, „ and then we can discuss everything that went wrong tonight and what can you  do to make sure it won’t happen again.”

Dean hesitates only for a moment.
 
„Sounds good to me.”

He could swear the corner of Castiel’s lips turned upward at that.

maliciouslycreative:

Title: Life Is Not A Piece Of Cake (Unless You’re Fucking Dean Winchester)

Written for: @rosemoonweaver‘s fic-o-ween

Rating: T

Words: 4911

Ships: Castiel/Inias, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Inias/Dean Winchester

Characters: Castiel, Inias, Dean Winchester, Claire Novak, Jody Mills,

Tags: food, baking, alcohol, accidents, enemies to friends to lovers, grumpy Castiel, enemies to friends to lovers, graphic depictions of culinary mishaps,

Prompt:
Character A is in charge of bringing
snacks for their child’s “fall festival” at the
school/daycare/activity (such as scouts or soccer or whatever). It
would be easy to just pick up soft cookies and a bag of candy at the
store, but last year their archrival carved a cake to look like a
real pumpkin and they’ve been insufferable about it ever since.
Character A decides to make their own special fall treats for the
kids and it’s definitely going to be better than their rivals. The
only problem? They’re a disaster in the kitchen.

Summary:
Castiel hates Dean Winchester. Not only is the man frustratingly perfect
he can bake amazing cakes that look like they belong on one of those
cooking shows. This year Castiel’s going to show Dean up. He’s going to
bake the best desserts for his daughter’s Girl Scout party and Dean is
going to be so impressed. Only Castiel is a disaster in the kitchen. 

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12774135

Under normal circumstances Castiel
supposes that he and Dean Winchester could have been friends. However
these are not normal circumstances. Then last year Dean walked in
with that fucking perfect cake shaped like a jack-o-lantern. Castiel
probably would have enjoyed the cake too if it hadn’t shamed the
cookies he’d brought from the nearby bakery. Yah the kids loved the
cookies but the fact remained that Castiel had not baked them with
his own two hands. And despite being devastatingly handsome and
frustratingly friendly Dean was also apparently gifted in the baking
department.

As if those few tidbits about Dean’s
life aren’t frustrating enough it seems that every new piece of
information Castiel learns paints Dean as even more of Disney Prince.
He’s a widower and owns his own business. He put his little brother
through law school. Although many of the single mothers both of the
Girl Scouts and of the kids at school are constantly asking Dean out
he politely declines them. He’s just so frustratingly kind. And
handsome. Way too handsome for a single father who works full time.
Castiel is married and shares the responsibility of raising his
daughter with an amazing husband and he still feels
like he hasn’t slept a full night in over a decade. His daughter’s
only 7.

Earlier that fall when Castiel had
run into Jody Mills he’d probably looked like a man possessed when
he all but begged her to schedule him and Dean to both bring treats
to the Halloween party. The Girl Scout troop leader had eyed him
warily but when he’d volunteered to do extra work for every Girl
Scout cookie drive she’d agreed. Who was she to refuse free help.

Now he has a plan and he’s going
to show Dean up. He’s been working on it all year. His husband
thinks he’s being a bit too serious about this but what does Inias
know? Dean is just so aggravatingly perfect at everything and all
Castiel wants to do is knock him down a peg.

Keep reading

christmas cookie pity party

blue-reveries:

A big thank you to @deadlyangelkay and her post that helped me write the most words I’ve written in a long time 😀

Ship: DCJ

Rating: Mature

Summary: Dean is feeling pretty down but that tends to happen when you have to listen to your hot neighbors hooking up but hey, at least this time he has cookies and hating on the lucky shits who get to have sex with either Cas or Jimmy is a lot nicer when cookies are involved…

Word Count: 1.3k

AO3 Link: Read Here

Excerpt: 

Really Cas?…or Jimmy,” Dean thought, rolling his eyes. He couldn’t quite pin down which of his twin neighbors was engaging in some extremely vigorous sex even though he was (shamefully) familiar with both of their styles of sex noises so he couldn’t be more specific in his mental ranting. Whichever one of you that’s over there, there’s no way whoever you’re fucking is that goddamn good.

The universe laughed at him as in response to this thought, an earsplitting shout that sounded like “Fuck, fuck! Harder!” burst through the shared wall.

Another flare of bitter jealousy followed this and Dean renewed his efforts to ignore his sorrows with the help of tiny holiday themed cookies and milk. He could make it through this.

This wasn’t the first time he’d had to sit in his living room and listen as some lucky soul got to fuck one of his gorgeous neighbors while he could only imagine how freaking amazing it would be to be in that person’s shoes. Tomorrow morning whoever was currently having sex with whichever twin would leave and either Cas or Jimmy would come over and have breakfast with Dean like usual and everything would continue in the horrible sexually frustrated spiral that was slowly killing his sex life.

No big deal. He’d done it before. Besides these cookies were pretty damn good, what more could he want?

Tagging: @jhoomwrites, @ldrmas since you might enjoy this little ditty

Keep reading

Top 5 Fan Fics (That I Personally Have Written)

Alright, fair’s fair. I started it so I guess I gotta. 

1. Some Things Last (E, Cas/Dean/Jimmy, 61,706 words) 
This is my absolute favorite thing I’ve ever written. It’s so close to my heart because it’s the first time I really allowed characters to make mistakes I’d usually punish them to hell and back for but instead I allowed them to be happy. It means a lot to me and I worked really hard on it. 
2. Forget-Me-Not (T, Cas/Meg, 3,966 words) 
This was because I wanted to write something that dealt with grief and I was still mad that Meg’s death hasn’t been acknowledged. Because I love Meg and I love Megstiel. It’s short but it’s one of my favorite fics. (AND I SWEAR this has a happy ending.) 
3. Four Can Play At That Game (E, Cas/Dean/Jimmy/Sam, 5,422 words) 
This is all @samanddeaninpanties fault because she sent me a gif and it got waaay out of hand. This was one fic I had a blast writing, though, and sometimes I even go back and read it because it amuses me so much. 
4. Angel Lust (E, Jimmy/Sam, 2,582 words) 
I would strongly suggest heeding the tags here. It’s… definitely not something I usually do. It’s a fic within my serial killer ‘verse, Peacemaker, and it’s an odd mix of dark comedy and twisted straight up murder. It was a lot of fun to write though, in an odd way. I really enjoy the ‘verse especially because our four mains are horrible, horrible people. (And the whole reason for it is a very subtle, mostly for myself, dig at certain very dumb arguments about shipping and necrophilia…) 
5. The First Loves of Dean Winchester (M, Dean/OMCs, Dean/OFCs, Dean/Robin, 1,866 words) 
I really liked this little fic thingy I wrote b/c I felt like writing it. There’s really no rhyme or reason to it, it’s just four vignettes about the first times Dean kisses and has sex with women and men. I was fun and a nice chance for me to just play around a bit. No pressure, but fun. 

@maliciouslycreative @samanddeaninpanties @mayalaen there I did the thing 😛 

Psycho Holiday

samanddeaninpanties:

Written for @rosemoonweaver ‘s ficoween celebration. Yes, I suck and I’m posting late. Sorry. 

Rating: Explicit 

Ship: Wincest 

Warnings/Tags: AU, serial killer Sam, murder, cannibalism, no on-screen cannibalism, fear, jealousy, secrets, violence, kidnapping, stitches, latex gloves, doctor Sam, minor injuries, minor character death, frottage, insecure Dean, suspicious Dean. 

Summary: Dean’s convinced Sam’s keeping secrets and is determined to get to the truth. Even if it hurts.

Thankfully, said secret isn’t what he’s anticipating. But in some ways this secret is definitely worse.

Prompt: 11. 

Link: AO3 

Teaser: 

Dean doesn’t ask Sam if he can take time off work, he just calls in and asks if he can use a week’s worth of vacation days. They’re not happy about it but he’s given the go ahead.  

After Sam leaves for his shift he collects pb&j sandwiches, beef jerky, energy drinks, chips, and whatever the hell else he wants for his long wait. It’s totally against the new diet he’s doing but can anyone blame him for a little stress eating?

He heads to the hospital and parks within viewing distance of the staff parking lot so he’ll know when Sam’s finished with work. Dean thumbs through Flowers in the Attic but he’s too angry to take in the words on the page so it’s not long before he’s tossing it on the passenger seat in disgust and grabbing a stick of beef jerky, taking a vicious bite out of it.

“Screw you, Sammy. Now I gotta re-start this dumb cleanse.”

Tagging: @dreamsfromthebunker @cardiaccadillac @kisahawklin @chiisana-sukima @rainsoakedsam @purgatoan @lovingsmutandfluff @mayalaen@oddsocksandstuff @bendoverandbiteyourgag

Lazarus Writing — Chapter 2!

jemariel:

Hello loves! Chapter 2 of Lazarus Writing is here, for @rosemoonweaver ‘s Fic-O-Ween challenge. I hope you all enjoy!

Title: Lazarus Writing
Rating: Explicit
Ship: Destiel
Warnings/Tags: Human!Cas, Writer AU, Bisexual Dean, Gay Castiel, Canon-typical violence and minor character deaths
Prompt:  Castiel is an author struggling to come up with his next novel. Luckily for them, a gift arrives in the mail from his publisher: a fancy new notebook and pen set with a note that promises to “bring new life to your writing”. It’s all fine until Castiel decides to write his grocery list in the back of the book… only to find the items have materialized in the kitchen. So, Castiel is in possession of some freaky magic which could be pretty amazing… if it weren’t for the fact that he just started a new novel in that book and the contents are not something he wants to see in this world.
External Fic Link: Chapter 2 on Ao3!

Excerpt:

The Roadhouse gleamed like an unpolished gem. Warm golden light from the windows illuminated the front deck, all rough wood and scuffed tables. A large red neon sign flickered overhead, declaring “ROA HOUSF” over a drooping string of white Christmas lights. Through the half-open door Castiel could hear a low murmur of conversation, laughter, the clack of pool cues against their targets, and the twangy strains of Creedence Clearwater Revival.

And parked out front, sparkling in the warm, low light, was a black 1967 Chevy Impala.

Castiel forgot to breathe for long enough that he almost fell forward in the gravel.

Keep reading

Lifestyles of the Weird and Sexy

robotsnchicks:

It’s done! Written for @rosemoonweaver ’s 500 follower celebration! Congrats! Sorry it’s a bit late

Special thanks to @nox-lee for the last minute beta! All mistakes are definitely my own!

Title: Lifestyles of the Weird and Sexy
Rating: Explicit
Ship: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Warnings/Tags: roommates, misunderstandings, secrets, recreational drug use, bottom!dean
Prompt: #1
Word count: 7032

CLICK HERE TO READ on AO3  

Summary: Dean’s roommate Castiel is a pretty weird dude. He’s also hot as hell and Dean might have a bit of a crush on him. 

The problem is Cas might be a witch. And finding out the truth isn’t as easy as Dean thought it would be.

A Little More than Super Friends

A little Halloween inspired fic for you all (shhhh, it’s Halloween until I say Halloween is over). 

Pairing: Dean/Cas/Jimmy
Warnings: Halloween Costumes, Halloween, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Jimmy Novak, Top Dean Winchester, Top Castiel, Blow Jobs, Crossdressing, Incest, Twincest, Sibling Incest, Castiel and Jimmy Novak Are Twins, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe – Human, Polyamory
Word Count: 4,877

Ao3 link 

Castiel was being punished. He must’ve done something in a past life because that was the only way he could justify the torment he was currently enduring. He must’ve been one of those dogs that peed on everything or a cat that ate the family parrot. Maybe he was a math teacher. Either way, it had to be something because there was no reason other than karmic retribution of his current suffering. His current suffering being his younger brother, Jimmy, dressed up like Wonder Woman, at least four beers and a few shots in his system, challenging everyone in the room to arm wrestle.

It’s not the embarrassment, not really. See, Castiel plays a good game. He knows that frustration, when channeled through eye rolls or put upon sighs, speaks more to an exasperated sibling than what it really is. He knows that if he acts like he’s unaffected or annoyed with Jimmy’s antics, especially in public, it won’t betray just how badly he wants to shove Jimmy into the nearest closet and ravish him. Because the thing is, Castiel isn’t the stoic, collected pain-in-the-ass so many people seem to think he is. He’s got a sense of humor, it’s just drier than the Sahara. He’s also got a sex drive and several kinks; he just keeps those close to the vest. The unfortunate thing is that as he and Jimmy have shared everything since before they were born, Jimmy knows these things, and he uses them to drive Castiel insane any chance he gets. Which is currently why Castiel wants to strangle him and also fuck his brains out.

He really should have let Jimmy pick the stupid ass s’more costume. When Charlie invited Dean, Jimmy, and himself to her Halloween party it had actually been her idea for them to show up in a couple costume. Apparently, she’d been trying to get everyone to do the same, and most of them had turned her down. Unfortunately for everyone, she called Dean so obviously they three of them were going to do it. The trip to the Halloween store was disappointing. Costumes designed for three adults were limited to gag costumes, like s’mores, value meals, and rock, paper, scissors. The s’more had been the least idiotic, but there was still no way Castiel was going to dress up like a graham cracker. That’s when Jimmy spotted the Batman costume and the Superman costume and then, of course, Wonder Woman. It was decided then and there that Dean would be Batman, Castiel would be Superman, and Jimmy, of course, would be Wonder Woman, tiara and all.

So this is where Castiel is now, watching Jimmy arm wrestle some guy in a cop costume. It’s not much of a match though, and Jimmy’s got him pinned within ten seconds. The idiot goes for another round and doesn’t even last eight.

The guy rolls his eyes and leaves, leaving Jimmy to slap his palms down on the card table. “Who’s next?” He asks, “who’s gonna give me a run for my money?”

“Oh, we’re puttin’ money on this now?” Benny asks. He’s dressed like a pirate. Andrea, who’s leaning on his arm, is dressed like a parrot.

“If you’re ready to lose it,” Jimmy fires back.

Benny smiles, rolling his eyes. “How much you got?”

“Deeeeean! How much money is in my wallet?” Jimmy hollers.

Dean, who’s been in conversation with Sam (Nightwing) and Eileen (Hawkeye) for the past half hour, sloshes his beer as he struggles to get up out of the butt groove on the couch.

“Fifteen bucks,” Dean says, fishing Jimmy’s wallet from his utility belt. “Why?”

“Fifteen bucks, Benny,” Jimmy says.

“Yeah, no dice,” Benny says.

“Come on! What about ten? Five?” Jimmy asks.

Benny shakes his head.

“What about a beer? Or a six pack? You beat me and I’ll buy you a six-pack of whatever you want. Or we could actually wrestle for it.”

“Dean,” Andrea says, “you need to come collect your boyfriend. He’s entirely too rambunctious.”

“Just be glad I didn’t buy the giant box of Jell-O mix and break out the kiddie pools,” Charlie says.

“You had the idea for Jell-O wrestling and you nixed it?” Jimmy gasps, “who are you and what have you done with Charlie?”

“I said no to Jell-O wrestling,” Gilda says, “I’m not cleaning that out of my carpet and neither are you.”

“Charlie,” Jimmy says in a stage whisper, “I think an alien has replaced your girlfriend.” He leans over the back of the chair, staring up at Charlie, leaning his head on Gilda’s hip.

Gilda rolls her eyes and shoves Jimmy away.

“Hey, there’s something I’ve always wondered,” Eileen pipes up, “who would win in a fight: Nightwing or Wonder Woman?”

Sam snorts. “You just want to see me arm wrestle Jimmy, don’t you?”

Eileen shrugs, a guilty little smile on her face. “Can’t blame me for trying, right?”

Sam laughs and kisses her on the forehead.

“Actually, that does bring up a better question. Who would win in a fight: Wonder Woman or Batman,” Gilda asks.

“Batman, obviously,” Dean says.

Castiel catches Jimmy’s eye and he’s smiling like the cat that got the cream. “You’d be sorely mistaken,” Jimmy says.

“Come on, Batman has a whole foot on Wonder Woman,” Dean says. “And he’s got all kinds of gadgets. No way she’d win.”

“Except Wonder Woman has been trained in every combat style ever. She’d kick his ass, dude,” Jimmy says.

“I think you should test that theory,” Castiel says.

Dean snorts and rolls his eyes. “We both know who’d win that one,” he says.

“Yup. Me,” Jimmy says, leaning back in his chair and lacing his fingers behind his head. He stretches his legs out so his feet rest on the seat of the chair across from him and Castiel legs a pleasant view of all the leg that isn’t covered by that tiny skirt. The asshole decided to wax for the costume, too, so they’re smooth and silky and Castiel wants them wrapped around his head.

“No way, dude. I wrestled in college. There’s no way you could beat me,” Dean says.

“Oh, college. That was, what? Five years ago? I’ll kick your ass old man,” Jimmy says.

“Dude! You’re older than me.”

“So? I’ll still beat you.”

Dean rose up off the couch. “Hold my beer,” he says, handing Castiel his drink. He walks over to the table, pushing Jimmy’s feet off the chair and sitting down. He squares up on the chair, putting his elbow on the table. “Alright, old man, let’s do this.”

Jimmy smirks and clasps his hand and it’s suddenly tense. Neither one of them is able to move the other more than a wobble and their muscles flex intermittently with effort. They are about as evenly matched as it comes. Castiel knows this. It really could be either of them who winds up winning, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to watch. Not at all.

Jimmy runs one of his feet up the inside of Dean’s leg and he falters for a moment, allowing Jimmy to pin his hand to the table.

“Hey! That’s cheating!” Dean says.

Jimmy shrugs. “It’s not cheating, it’s using your weaknesses to my advantage.”

“Which is cheating!”

“I never said you couldn’t try it either,” Jimmy says.

“Fine, I want a rematch then,” Dean says, squaring up again. He drops the smile in an instant, his eyes sharp and serious.

Jimmy smiles and throws him a wink before clasping their hands together. The instant he does, Dean surges across the table, cupping Jimmy’s face with his free hand and pressing their lips together. Jimmy’s eyes fly open and his arm wavers as Dean pushes it down. That doesn’t last more than half a second, though, as Jimmy is giving as good as he’s getting; his free hand pulling Dean closer by the scruff of his neck. Gilda snorts a laugh and Sam groans, throwing his head back on the couch. Neither of them is gaining much ground, and the ground they do gain is easily won back by the other, but they don’t seem too concerned about it. They chase each other with their lips, tongues visible every time they pull apart. Dean groans as Jimmy catches his bottom lip with his teeth. Jimmy shudders, and although it’s hard to see, Castiel’s pretty sure he’s running his nails across the sensitive flesh just below Jimmy’s ear.

“Does anybody have a squirt bottle?” Sam asks.

Castiel snorts. It’s a good thing he’s standing behind the couch because these stupid tights leave nothing to the imagination. It’s Jimmy’s fault, really. He’s the one who’s squirming in his seat and straining to keep his arm in the air. And then, Jimmy takes another cheap shot and pulls Dean’s hair. Dean gasps and throws his head back and Jimmy their hands down on the table.

“Ha! I win!” Jimmy jumps up, hands on his hips and smiling like the smug asshole he is.

“You cheated. Again,” Dean says.

“This time you started it,” Jimmy says, “but you’re welcome to try again.”

“No! No more redos!” Sam says. “I don’t want to see to guys dry hump next.”

“Can it, Dick,” Dean says.

Eileen laughed.

“Oh my god,” Sam groans, rubbing his temples, “this is what I get for picking the cool Robin isn’t it?”

“Jason Todd is the cool Robin, dude,” Dean says, “but yes, this what you get for picking Dick.”

“Hey now, careful what you say about picking dick, Dean. I seem to recall you not only picked it but you doubled down,” Jimmy says.

“Oh my god, please stop talking about your implied sex life. I don’t need to think about that ever,” Sam says.

“That’s your loss, Sam,” Jimmy says, adjusting his tiara.

“Dude! No. Keep in your skirt. There are ladies present,” Sam says.

“Like I would object,” Eileen mutters into her drink. Sam stares at her, mouth gaping like a landed fish. He signs something to her, too quick for Castiel to catch and she just laughs at him, signing something back.

“Alright, fine,” Dean says, standing up, “I lose. But I bet Superman would beat you.” There’s a mischievous little twinkle in his eye that never means anything good. Well, it means some good things, like blowjobs, but it also means things like lifetime bans from the zoo.

“Oh, would he now,” Jimmy asks, a single eyebrow raised.

Castiel rolls his eyes. “You’re insufferable.”

“Ah, come on Cas, don’t be a wet blanket,” Charlie says, “arm wrestle your brother!”

“Unless you’re too chicken,” Gilda says, handing both Jimmy and Charlie another beer.

“Chicken? Since when did we go back to the fourth grade?” Castiel asks.

Jimmy clucks before taking a drink.

“He just doesn’t want the rest of us to know Jimmy’s actually better than him at something,” Charlie says.

Castiel rolls his eyes. He knows he’s not going to get out of it, not that he really even wants to. He just needs to will his boner away before he steps into the rest of the living room and embarrasses himself. “Jimmy’s abilities are not a mark against mine. He’s much better at math than I am. And he’s much more charismatic.”

“And I have more arm strength,” Jimmy says. That’s a lie and they both know it. Numerous wrestling matches over the years have borne that out. Castiel knows he could pin Jimmy to the ground and hold him down with one hand around his wrists easily. Jimmy and Dean do, too, but Jimmy is going to egg him on until he proves it. Dean has very fallen suspiciously silent, so he’s no help.

“If you insist,” Castiel says, “I don’t have to prove anything.” If Jimmy really wants this he’s going to have to work for it.

Jimmy narrows his eyes at Castiel. He knows that if they were home, or if it was just Sam, Eileen, and Charlie, he’d make some crack about offering sexual favors, but with all the strangers mingling in the house, he doesn’t dare risk it.

“Fine,” Jimmy says, “be that way. You’re never any fun anyway.”

Castiel raises an eyebrow. Jimmy should know by now that the “Castiel-is-a-boring-square” line doesn’t work.

“It’s just that, well, we haven’t wrestled since we were kids,” that’s bullshit, “and I’ve always wanted to be like my big brother. You always were to the more athletic of the two of us and I just wanted to prove to you – to myself – that I could finally hold my own after all those years of getting thrown on my ass.”

God, he’s so full of shit. Castiel suppresses a smile and rolls his eyes. He comes out from behind the couch and makes his way to the card table Jimmy’s sitting at. He’s got that shit-eating grin plastered all over his face, and Castiel wants nothing more than to wipe it off and replace it with an open mouth groan.

Castiel adjusts the cape so he’s not sitting on in and plants his feet on the ground, behind tucked behind the legs of the chair. He’ll get more leverage, and Jimmy can’t cheat by trying to play footsie.

Neither of them says anything. They don’t need to, really. The look in Jimmy’s eyes tells him everything he needs to know, and the look in his certainly put across everything he wants to say. They’re not telepathic, no matter what anyone insists, they just know how to read each other, and Castiel knows that little lip twitch Jimmy’s fighting means he hopes Castiel makes him pay for being a shit later. Castiel knows he will.

They clasp hands and they’re off. Jimmy’s strong, there’s no doubt about that, but he’s not trying to win here. He never is when it comes to Castiel. He puts up a decent show, though, and Castiel lets him, even letting him tip Castiel’s arm towards the table once. But then, of course, Jimmy lets his thumb tease small circles into Castiel’s wrist and it’s got to be over before either of them do something stupid. Castiel overpowers him, much to Gilda and Andrea’s displeasure.

Jimmy pouts. “Well you’re just not any fun are you, Cas?” He crosses his arms over his chest, flattening the material that bags there. He barely manages the frown, though his lips betray how much he wants to laugh.

“No, of course not,” Castiel says.

That does earn him a snort. “Fine,” Jimmy says, rising to his feet and flattening his skirt over his ass, “I, Princess Diana, yield my kingdom to you, oh Son of Krypton. You’re king of the mountain now,” he says.

Castiel shakes his head as he watches Jimmy saunter towards the couch, plopping down in Dean’s lap. Dean’s hand immediately goes to his thigh, his fingertips just brushing under the fabric of the skirt. This is going to be a long night.

—–

“You’re a son of a bitch, you know that,” Castiel says, slamming Jimmy to their bedroom wall. He attacks Jimmy’s neck before he can respond, licking long stripes from collarbone to jaw.

Jimmy’s fingers thread through his hair, his nails biting into the Castiel’s scalp. “Yeah, well,” he huffs, “what does that make you?” He drags one of his now bare feet up the back of Castiel’s leg.

“A horny son of a bitch,” Castiel mutters, slipping his hands up under Jimmy’s microskirt and kneading the skin under the silky panties Jimmy decided to wear. Because of course, he decided to wear panties.

Jimmy chuckles, hands running down Cas’s back in search of the zipper. “Such a naughty boy.” He kisses the side of Castiel’s face.

“Your fault,” Castiel mutters, yanking the panties down Jimmy’s tights. “You and your fucking skirt and your fucking attitude.”

“Love it when you get riled up,” Jimmy mutters into his neck, “love it when you swear.”

Castiel surges forward, catching Jimmy’s lips with his own. Jimmy groans against him, sliding his leg up higher until his knee sits awkwardly at Castiel’s lower back. He bends his own knees, grabbing Jimmy by his soft thighs and hauling him up. Jimmy wraps his legs around him and squeezes, briefly erasing all thought from Castiel’s mind. He teases the seam of Jimmy’s lip with his tongue, and Jimmy responses with teeth.

Jimmy’s dick is him from underneath the skirt, and they’re probably going to ruin his costume, but Castiel can’t be fucked to care. He couldn’t give a rats ass what happened to his own ich tights. At least Jimmy’s costume is mostly vinyl.  He would be sad if this was the last time they got to play around with it.

“You know,” Dean’s voice calls out from behind them. Castiel turns to look. “I always knew Superman and Wonder Woman were fucking,” Dean says.

Jimmy snorts, “You jealous, Bats?”

Dean smiles, flipping his mask off and flinging it across the room. He sidles up behind Castiel, his hands drifting up his sides and over Jimmy’s legs. “Maybe a little.” Dean kisses at Castiel’s neck, hands trailing up his chest and to the fasteners that keep the cape in place. A few snaps and it falls to the floor.

“You don’t need to be,” Castiel says, letting his head fall back to Dean’s shoulders.

Dean hums, trailing his lips down the column of Castiel’s throat. Jimmy leans forward, too, his fingers rubbing circles over Castiel’s nipples through the fabric. Castiel shudders, leaning back into Dean to support both of them.

Dean huffs and stumbles backward. “I can’t support both of you, you know,” he says.

Castiel grunts and steps forward while Dean steps back. Jimmy climbs off him and shimmies out of his panties and top half of his costume. He’s limber enough that he doesn’t need to use the zipper and just flings the whole thing off and into the corner. He leaves the skirt, though, sitting back on the bed with his legs spread.

“Fuck,” Castiel and Dean mutter in unison. Apparently, he’d decided to wax everywhere, which was definitely a pleasant surprise.

Dean unzips the top of Castiel’s costume, but he’s on the way Jimmy’s dick props the material up to an obscene tent to thank him. He drops to his knees and crawls forward, burying his face in Jimmy’s thighs. Castiel kisses and sucks the tender flesh inside Jimmy’s thighs. He tastes like sweat and musk and the plastic that’s been sticking to his skin. Jimmy groans, spreading his legs wider to give Castiel more room to work. He lets his hands skim up Jimmy’s calves, rating his nails back down at odd intervals as he mouths his way to Jimmy’s cock.

“Jesus,” Jimmy hisses. The bed dips next to Castiel and he’s pretty sure that’s Dean getting on positioning himself wherever he wants to be. Castiel’s too concerned with getting his lips around his brother cock to care though. He licks the tip of Jimmy’s dick, which earns him a shaky exhale as Jimmy pulls his skirt out of the way.

Castiel is a bit of a tease in bed. Anyone who knows them might suspect Jimmy would be the more likely culprit, and he certainly can be, but he’s much needier than Castiel is. Castiel likes to take his sweet time. He likes to learn the bodies of his lovers, to find all the spots that make them whimper and beg for mercy. He likes to build anticipation. And one of his favorite ways to build anticipation in Jimmy is to drag his tongue up the vein in Jimmy’s cock, pulling back just before he reaches the sensitive spot just below the head. It drives Jimmy nuts, and Castiel loves it.

Jimmy sinks lower on the bed as Castiel trails down to his balls, sucking each into his mouth while running his nails up and down Jimmy’s thighs. He quivers, his legs wrapping around Castiel’s head. Above him, Castiel can hear the wet smacking of Dean and Jimmy kissing and the soft whimpers he knows he’s the source of.

Castiel teases the head of Jimmy’s cock a few more times, groaning when he can taste the salty tang of precome on his tongue. When he finally seals his lips over Jimmy’s cock, Jimmy shivers beneath him, his toes curling against Castiel’s back. His fingers stay knotted in the hair on the back of his head, tugging and releasing whenever Castiel sucks at the head.

“Fuck, baby,” Jimmy groans.

“You want that,” Dean’s soft voice picks up, “you want Cas to fuck you?”

Castiel shudders, letting his hand skim down Jimmy’s thigh and trail backward towards his pucker. Castiel rubs his finger over the ring of muscle and Jimmy moans.

“Uh-huh,” Jimmy whines.

“Yeah?” Dean asks. He does something Castiel can’t see that makes Jimmy let loose a wailing moan.

“Fuck, Cas,” Jimmy pants, “stop. You gotta stop.”

Castiel presses his luck, pulling off Jimmy’s cock after another vigorous suck. He pokes up from underneath Jimmy’s skirt. “Yes?”

Jimmy sighs, his head pillowed on one of Dean’s naked thighs. “Gimme a minute,” he says. Castiel smirks and takes that was his opportunity to strip and join Dean and Jimmy on the bed. Dean’s already naked, a pleasant flush coloring his chest and neck.

Castiel settles next to Dean, drawing him close with fingers on his chin. Dean pulls him close with an arm around his shoulders, leading their kiss with much slower intent. While Castiel prides himself on being a tease, Dean tends to take it slow for a different reason entirely. He enjoys filling the moment with as much tenderness as he can muster, which certainly is helpful for bringing down the pace while keeping the mood intact. Castiel and Jimmy on their own fuck like animals, pushing each other into a sweaty fever pitch that’s over in what should be an embarrassingly short amount of time. (Because as much as Castiel loves to tease, being teased himself usually only amounts to growling and fighting until he’s in control again and then they’re both too wound up to stop.) Dean though tends to bring them both back into the moment instead of rocketing towards orgasm.

Castiel sighs when Dean tugs at Castiel’s cock, slow and purposeful. “Jimmy wants you to fuck him,” Dean says against Castiel’s lips, “you wanna do that?”

Castiel sighs. “God, yes.”

“He really wound you up tonight, didn’t he?” Dean asks.

Castiel groans in response, chasing Dean’s tongue as slides across his lips.

“You both wound me up,” Dean says, jerking Castiel’s head back by his hair. He kisses down Castiel’s throat, nipping at his collarbones before biting down hard enough to leave a bruise. Castiel cries out and clutches Dean’s arms. “I wanna fuck you so bad,” Dean says.

Castiel swallows. His thighs tingle pleasantly with excitement. “Yes,” he says, “yeah, do that.”

Dean smirks against his skin rubbing his stubble over Castiel’s chest, like a cat. “You first,” he says, pulling away from Castiel.

It takes Castiel a moment to get his bearings and crawl back over to Jimmy, who’s licking his lips and watching Castiel with unfiltered want in his eyes. He’s also got two fingers in his ass, and is completely naked, though Castiel wishes he kept the skirt on.

Castiel pulls Jimmy’s hand from between his legs, leaning down to kiss him once more. He pulls back swiping the lube from where Jimmy left it on the pillow and slicks his cock while Dean settles in behind Jimmy, propping him up half in his lap.

Castiel slips two fingers inside Jimmy’s body, testing the stretch. Jimmy lets out an annoyed huff and rolls his eyes. Castiel could drag it out a bit and finger Jimmy a little more but he’s anxious to get on with it, so he pulls his fingers out and takes himself in hand. He pushes in with a slow thrust, and Jimmy hisses, clutching Castiel’s thighs.

“Okay?” Castiel asks.

Jimmy nods, eyes shut tight. Castiel continues to push forward until he’s as far as he can get, surrounded by Jimmy’s warmth. Castiel groans, bracing himself with his hands on either side of Jimmy’s waist and pulls out.

Jimmy sings underneath him. Every time Castiel pulls out he gasps, high and breathy like he’s surprised by it. Every time Castiel thrusts in he moans, soft and low, his eyelids fluttering. Castiel keeps his pace slow, his movements more of a roll and a grind than real thrusts, the way he knows Jimmy likes it. He’s loud, like he always is, letting loose noises that almost sound pitiful. Castiel chuckles and leans down to kiss him, changing the angle of his hips. Jimmy cries out, loud and almost mournful, like a wounded animal.

“Fuck!” He whines, “Cas, god, do that again.”

Cas smirks, grinding into Jimmy slow and dirty. Jimmy’s hands scramble to connect with Castiel’s body, nails digging in wherever Jimmy happens to let them fall.

“You like that, Jimmy?” Dean asks. He’s half petting, half pulling Jimmy’s hair.

Jimmy gulps, nodding adamantly.

“You should hear the sounds you make,” Dean says, “fucking beautiful. Isn’t that right, Cas?”

“God, yes,” Castiel grunts on a particularly hard roll.

Jimmy’s eyes are shut now and he’s groaning non-stop, hands clumsily slipping through the sweat on Castiel’s back. He gasps, arching up into Castiel’s thrusts as Dean snakes a hand between them and starts to stroke Jimmy’s cock.

Jimmy’s beyond words at this point, and anything more than garbled swears is too much to ask. He’s rocking his hips to meet Castiel’s and while Castiel would love to hurry this along, he’s pretty sure he’s not too far from the edge himself.

Dean slips his other hand between them, pinching Jimmy’s nipple and Jimmy comes. Castiel groans, holding still for fear that he’ll come too from nearly anything else. He pulls out, limbs shaking, and collapses next to Jimmy. Thank god Dean’s more concerned about kissing Jimmy through his high and not immediately attacking Castiel, because he would really like to have his orgasm with Dean’s dick in his ass. Jimmy’s still breathing hard when Dean pulls away and settles himself between Castiel’s legs. It takes a moment to find the lube, wherever the hell it went, and Dean is teasing Castiel’s hole with two slick fingers.

Castiel squirms, fisting his hand in the bed sheets. He’s not close enough to the edge that anything will set him off, but he’s close enough that it feels really fucking good. Dean bends down, nipping at Castiel’s earlobe and breathing hot against his skin as he slips one finger inside. It’s good, but it’s not nearly enough, and despite Castiel’s better instincts he demands another.

It doesn’t take Dean long to get three fingers inside Castiel. He’s not used to the stretch of his muscles, but it’s not completely unfamiliar. It does help somewhat to take the edge off, though.

“Please, Dean,” Castiel groans, “fuck me.”

Dean shuts his eyes and lets out a soft breath, nodding. He pulls back and slicks his cock.

Castiel glances to his left. Jimmy’s laying on the bed, propped up on his elbow, smiling a sleepy little smile. There’s a bruise on his chest shaped like Castiel’s mouth. He reaches over and slips his fingers through Castiel’s hair, guiding him close and kissing him. Castiel gasps when Dean starts to push his cock inside, but Jimmy holds him firm and keeps kissing his lips, his face, his neck, and let’s Castiel breath him in while he adjusts to Dean’s girth.

Dean’s thrusts are just as measured as his kisses, but that doesn’t mean he’s not trying to make sure Castiel feels it for days. He hauls Castiel’s leg up, resting his ankle on his shoulder and drives in hard.

“Dean! Fuck!” Castiel hits the bed with a fist, itching to shift his hips enough to take Dean even deeper, but the angle doesn’t allow it. Dean just laughs and keeps up his pace. His stomach rolls with every thrust, and it’s damn near hypnotic to watch.

Jimmy’s at his neck now, licking and nibbling at his shoulder, skimming a hand down his chest and stomach and fondling his balls when he gets low enough. Castiel forces himself to sink into the mattress, to let some of the tension go and just feel it. Fuck, it’s incredible.

“You’re incredible,” Jimmy purrs into his ear. Castiel isn’t sure if he said anything out loud, or if Jimmy just knows him well enough to pick up on the sentiment.

Castiel just gulps and shakes his head. He’s close. He can tell it pulling in his gut and in his thighs. He can’t help but tense. Dean bends down to kiss him, dropping Castiel’s leg in the process and that’s it. He moans, deep and guttural, coming all over his own stomach. Dean fucks him through it, groaning as his eyes flutter shut and he too, comes.

Dean settles down on the other side of Castiel, his arm slung across Castiel’s chest, fingers tangled with Jimmy’s. They’re going to be gross in the morning, but Castiel doesn’t really give a shit.