Sense of Identity [or lack thereof] explained

stelliferoustudio:

quietsis:

bpd4bpd:

What the DSM means by “not having a fixed sense of identity”:

Think of someone you looked up to as a kid [older sibling, bff, cousin wtvr] and the very first time you guys got to hang out, it was exciting but you still worried about them thinking you were cool. You wanted them to know you had things in common so that they’d have no reason to dislike you.

Well that is sort of how it feels for borderlines in every social situation with an exception to the ppl we are 100% comfortable being ourselves around [favorite person. Fp, for instance].

Its not that we look up to every single person we talk to. Its that we are hypervigilant as fuck about being rejected. On a subconscious level, we would rather not risk having to feel that rejection mid conversation so its literally second nature for us to feel and believe we agree with that person during the interaction.

You might say everyone is self conscious and wants to appear agreeable at times, but the point I’m making is that we do this on a subconscious level all the damn time. Its our norm and it doesnt matter if we dont care for the other person very much. We still care about being rejected.

So you can imagine what this is like in our closer relationships. The imprinting just happens. And it happens long term. Before we know it we’ve changed our word choices, our political views based on whoever we spend the most time idealizing [this extends to famous ppl who inspire the borderline].

Ugh wanted to write more but i have to go back to work. I am well aware others experience this bpd trait differently so pls reply down below what its like for u.

Yes. My views, opinions, and tastes change depending on who I spend time with the most (or spend time at the moment). I often feel like a chameleon or a cephalopod who is blending in and always changing.

@rosemoonweaver

Just a little more for your research ❤