“Straight couples” you see at pride could very well be
bi, pan, ace, aro, or literally any of the other sexualities that aren’t straight
you misgendering a trans, nonbinary, etc. person
friends. They can be friends who are also LGBT. People holding hands or being affectionate in public does not automatically make them romantically or sexually involved
parents or friends showing support by being there for their LGBT children or friends
So stop being assholes and leave people be
Aaanyways, let’s just center pride around same-sex attraction and relationships and simply see the periphery for what it is: the periphery. How does that sound?
Sounds very bad.
Pride wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for trans women so how about we stop pretending its all about gay relationships and remember the foremothers who literally fought for liberation in a society that hated their meer existence.
Pride is a celebration of who we are and how far we’ve come. Pride is for exposure so straight cis folks can see we’re human and their friends and neighbours.
My fav trans writer just made this on her Twitter so I thought I’d share.
The major unlock for me was realizing that wanting to be a girl was a symptom of being a girl.
Me realizing I was trans was me going “Wow. I wish I was transgender., I’d like to be a girl.” for MONTHS (this was when I started seriously questioning) till one day I was wishing I was trans and then I was just like:
I remember when I was like 13 I read something about trans people in an informative way for the first time and in the span of about three seconds I was just like “oh. That’s a thing. That makes a whole lot of sense.”
Ever since I could comprehend what a girl was I wanted to be one Thought it was normal
These comments are so pure and sweet I had to reblog!
“wanting to be a girl was a symptom of being a girl” this was a huge stumbling block for me. I learned of the existence of trans ppl in my late teens, but always seen it framed as ‘they ARE [gender]’. But I thought I only WANTED to be a girl (which I didn’t realize wasn’t normal. Who wouldn’t, right?) It wasn’t until 6 or 7 years later that I figured out I was trans too… But that’s why posts like this are important to me, hopefully some trans ppl who haven’t realized it yet see them, and realize that this could apply to them. Cause while we are our gender, when you’re figuring it out; it feels less sure, cause the whole world is trying to tell you otherwise.
I know we don’t get happily ever afters in real life. I’m a hopeless romantic, not a total fucking idiot. As my friend, Russell, said to me once, “Even with the happiest couples, one of you dies first.” But first there is such unalloyed joy.
We went to the supermarket yesterday and we were wandering around and,
at one point, he took my hand, because that’s the kind of thing he does. And instantly, I got flustered. Residual anxiety. Remembrance of past battery. Enduring scars. Even though I know I’m hardly likely to get my head kicked in by the salad bar, PDAs can still make me nervous. And then he said, gentle as anything, and I’m not going to do the accent…
“If there’s a gay kid in here with his folks, frightened that he’s a freak, don’t you think that it might give him hope, seeing two guys wandering around, being themselves, getting their groceries, like everyone else?” If happiness is a place… it’s the biscuit aisle in Sainsbury’s. And anywhere else I am with him.
Like, people who identify as Queer know the word is used like a slur. Trust me, we know.
So when we say “queer is a slur” was started by terfs, maybe use some critical thinking and try to understand what we mean. That is, if you actually care about queer people and the damage terfs do, rather that just screaming “queer is a slur!” and ignoring the actual point.
Terfs did not like that queer was reclaimed. End of. This is a fact. Queer was too broad, too accepting, and embraced all the people they wanted gone. And I know y’all exclusionists feel the same but get pissed when we point it out so you deny it, but sit down and listen for a minute.
Queer was the preferred term for poc. For bisexuals. For trans people. For people with multiple identities. It neatly encapsulated everything, and was a friendly community to those who felt thrown under the bus by mainstream LGBT activism. It was a political and social statement, “you treated my like I was different and weird, and guess what? I am and that’s something to be proud of.”
So the response? “You can’t use that word. Its bad. Its a slur.”
And at the time, a lot of people rolled their eyes. Everyone knew why they didn’t like the word and brushed that off. It was fine.
So they started more subtly. “Just so you know this word is very harmful and is a slur so be careful how you use it :))) in case you didn’t know :)))) its a slur :))) friendly reminder :))) for the sake of other people of course :))))” type shit on every post involving the word, including and especially posts simply mentioning self identification.
Always worded in friendly, concerned ways, like the derailment was meant to be nice and considerate, and not about normalizing their rhetoric.
And what happened because of that was a younger generation of community kids growing up with these statements being thrown at them and absorbed on every. Single. Post. That. Mentionioned. Queer.
The result? That same generation of kids cutting it all short, removing the meant-to-be-palatable niceness, to just say “queer is a slur.”
Exactly how it was originally intended. “Queer is a slur.” People drop on posts where young queer people talk about it being a self identifier that actually fits them. “Its a slur,” they comment, with nothing else, on posts they clearly didn’t read past that word, written by people twice their age who had reclaimed it before they were even born.
Its nasty. Its disgusting. It’s plain old bigotry, whether the people saying know it or not. It is a terf tactic, plain and simple.
And no one wants to deny that it is indeed used as a slur (right along with all the rest of our identities.) No one wants to be insensitive and force it on people who haven’t reclaimed it.
But invading queer people’s posts to spit “queer is a slur” is flat out queerphobic. You do the dirty work of terfs, of cis straight oppressors, by saying in one simple sentence: “its a dirty word, there is no pride in it, you haven’t/can’t reclaim(ed) it.”
And regardless of your actual intentions, when you do this, that is EXACTLY what you are communicating and doing.
“Queer is a slur” is a terf movement. Stop fucking supporting terfs just because you want to pretend like it isn’t.
This is why I block people who say ‘Queer is a slur.’
You quack like a terf, I block you like a terf.
This thing was so weird to me when I first encountered it on tumblr, because like… in academia
queer studies
is a thing. Queer Theory is a thing. If I search my Uni’s library for ‘queer’ I get 138,481 results. Here are some of them:
Queer in Europe : contemporary case studies / edited by Lisa Downing and Robert Gillett.
Queer Phenomenology, Sexual Orientation, and Health Care Spaces: Learning From the Narratives of Queer Women and Nurses in Primary Health Care, / Cressida Heyes, Megan Dean, Lisa Goldberg.
Playing With Time: Gay Intergenerational Performance Work and the Productive Possibilities of Queer Temporalities / Stephen Farrier
Postcolonial and queer theories : intersections and essays / edited by John C. Hawley.
Showing Your Pride: A National Survey of Queer Student Centres in Canadian Colleges and Universities / John Ecker, Jennifer Rae, Amandeep Bassi
Mad for Foucault : rethinking the foundations of queer theory / Lynne Huffer.
Do those look like queerphobic texts? And do you think that most of the writers writing about queer theory are straight? Lols. If you don’t want to be personally be called queer, that’s cool. You don’t get to stop other people using the word though. It’s ours now and we’re keeping it.
Did I reblog this already? If I did, doesn’t hurt to blog it again.
I usually unfollow people who use the tag (or the equilivant) q-slur.
Because fuck you, I’m queer. Have been since like 1986.
Sex is literally the most important thing in every relationship and if you take it away from your non-ace partner then you need to understand how abusive you are.
Even if they say they are completely fine with little to no sex then they are lying just to make you feel better. You. Are. Abusive.
Date another asexual person or die alone.
buddy. pal. my guy. I survived by jacking off back when I was in my long distance relationship and i’d survive jerking it if I had a sex-repulsed partner in my arms at night and if sex alone makes or breaks your relationships im awfully sorry for you because if your partner is literally not appealing if you cant fuck them and if you’d rather miss out on dating, on kissing, romantic trips, zoo visits, sleepovers, watching movies in each other’s arms, wearing each other’s clothes, baking together, all that cute romantic shit just because you cant touch their nether parts you must live a pretty boring life and im sorry for that but you don’t need to push that sad view on all of us out here by claiming sex would be the most important thing “in every relationship” which is evidently plain wrong (and the last part of ur comment is honestly borderline inhumane and simply uncalled for).
ur partner isnt withholding food or water. they aren’t insulting you or humiliating or physically punishing you or doing anything else which would be counted as abusive.
They make use of their right of bodily autonomy which, surprise, you don’t lose when you’re dating. Saying “no, I do not want to do this” isn’t abuse no matter how you’re making it out to be. im sorry to break it to you but if you know what you signed up for when dating them theres absolutely no reason to play victim and literally paint every sex repulsed person who has the audacity of dating someone who says they don’t mind as merciless abusers.
that aside, you cannot claim to speak for every single allosexual person who says they are “completely fine with little to no sex“ and the only reason I can think of you would possibly say something such as this is to guilt someone because yes, even your partner who reassures you they are fine really isn’t fine and you are the abuser in this scenario so just go and have sex with them in order not to be abusive, and this sort of manipulationand pressure is, honestly, pretty disgustingly close to rape.
I know you often say things without really thinking about them and you probably did not have this in mind when you wrote this so I’m not blaming you here, but I am simply pointing it out that this mindset you’ve just shown is pretty damn creepy if you think about it that way.
tl,dr:
there’s no reason to go on a rant claiming to be a victim of systematic oppression just cuz you wanna get off
Hey OP wtf is wrong with you
Aphobia has jumped straight to advocating for raping your partners and I wish I could say I’m surprised
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