i wont get into it in the tags here though

esperanza-y-el-sol:

vanta-gold:

MONSTER
Fate by design

My heart broke.

Because of my neurodivergence I was told for years by people who were supposed to take care of me that I lacked the ability to feel empathy, that I had no theory of mind, that I was unable to be considerate of others. I once met someone who told me “Wow, your mom must have trained you well because you’re really nice for a kid who has autism!” Trained they said, as if I were an animal. I couldn’t help but focus on that one word. I know they meant taught, but it still hurt. I was twelve at the time.

Everyday I would have to listen to adults talk amongst themselves about how they had to walk on eggshells around my classmates and I, because we were unpredictable according to them. The security specialist would accompany us when we traveled as as a group, but it wasn’t about keeping us safe it was about keeping others safe from us. Just in case one of us “inexplicably” went berserk. I had a classmate confess that their parents were sending them away to a “special school” to be fixed and that they didnt want to go. Then everytime a shooting happened there would be speculation that the shooter might have been Autistic. The message I was getting was clear—you are a monster. You know happened?

I started to believe them.

I was becoming embittered by the constant bullying, and the blatant disregard for our feelings as humans. The I began to wish misfortune on anyone and everyone around me. Having these feelings made me despair even more because I felt it confirmed what everyone had been saying.

There are few characters I relate to as well as Kylo

^^^^^important stuff here

Especially among the “but Han and Leia loved him” crowd. Despite a parent’s intentions you can really fuck up a child’s psychology by doing this.