As a non-American on tumblr it is impossible to decipher which American holiday is which. You eat pie and feel bad about genocide at every single one.
Yeah, pretty much.
Except Halloween. Halloween is for eating candy, dressing up, and listening to your weird aunt rant about witchcraft and how it’s the devil’s birthday.
Petition to rename Animorphs books more accurately, so they’re called things like “first named character gets eaten alive”, “first suicide attempt”, and “oh my god even more genocide are you kidding me”
#1: “First named character gets eaten alive”
#2: “First incidence of PTSD, also JESUS CHRIST, ANTS”
#3: “First suicide attempt”
#4: “THEY BIT HIM IN HALF”
#5: “WELL THIS ONE’S UPSETTING”
#6: “Genocide and slavery, basically”
#7: “The future can involve eating your friends”
#8: “Well, this is the one with cinnamon buns…”
#9: “Oh thank god it’s getting less traumatic”
#10: “THE BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE”
#11: “someone dies and it’s confusing”
#12: “let’s sell out the human race, nbd”
#13: “SHIT GOIN DOWN HODAM”
#14: “Poop Jokes”
#15: “*unintelligible screaming about sharks*”
#16: “SO MUCH CANNIBALISM, ALSO CASUAL MURDER.”
#17: “This is the oatmeal one. Alternatively, this is the chemical warfare one.”
#18: “Brain lobes get bitten off in this one.”
#19: “Moral Shades Of Gray: The Book. Also a throat gets ripped out, and parts of it stuck in someone’s teeth.”
#20: “OH NO”
#21: “OH NOOOOOO”
#22: “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST NOOOOOOOO”
#23: “HE JUST WANTED A FUCKING FAMILY”
#24: “… let’s pretend this one never happened”
#25: “RIPPED ITS SKIN RIGHT OFF. Also, more genocide.”
#26: “GENOCIDE AHOY”
#27: “Increase Your Password Security”
#28: “Graphic Depictions of a Slaughterhouse”
#29: “Graphic Depictions of Alien Brain Surgery”
#30: “*sobbing intensifies*ok that’s all for now
I CAN STILL CLEARLY PICTURE THE ALIEN BRAIN SURGERY.
That alien brain surgery was the best
I THOUGHT THIS WAS A CHILDREN’S BOOK SERIES?!
It is, that’s why the untrained soldiers with neither physical nor emotional support who are forced to murder innocent slaves for their own survival and constantly face death are children.
from now on when people ask me why i haven’t read animorphs i’ll just show them this post
I absolutely adored this series and I still had to eventually stop reading it because every chapter K.A. Applegate was like “I’ll see your psychological trauma and raise you two instances of surreal body horror and a bout of survivor’s guilt.”
I mean, they’re fantastic books, just…be prepared.
I only read a few of the books and read them out of order – I should really try to read the complete set and use this post as a guide for what to expect with each book.
“This is the oatmeal one. Alternatively, this is the chemical warfare one.” i’m dying
…also man i did actually forget 24 was a thing
“Poop Jokes” feels like a weird addition but I’m too scared to ask what it might actually be about.
Never really read Animorphs past book 1 but I’ve heard things about it for the past 6-ish years and uh… What the hell, Applegate.
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