chiisana-sukima:

I myself (another person with diagnosis-qualifying-level triggers) don’t personally mind people using “trigger” for the level of stuff that is beyond squick, in much the same way I don’t mind people saying “I’m so OCD” or “I’m so depressed today” in ways that aren’t technically correct. Mostly the reason I don’t mind it is that 1) it’s nobody’s business how severe a person’s distress is or is not after the person has mentioned being distressed by something. And 2) people tend to minimize. So even when someone jokes “I’m so OCD today”, I don’t actually know that doesn’t mean they aren’t kinda close to medically diagnosible OCD and just joking it off. Or that maybe they are not in fact diagnosible but are still significantly distressed in some other way that they’re minimizing.

For example:

rosemoonweaver:

I’m glad you asked this question, anon. 

To me, and I think to most people who actually have negative physical and psychological responses to certain things, “trigger” is for something that causes really distressing thoughts and reactions that either start a panic attack or give me symptoms of panic (like tension in the chest, fear, obsessive thoughts, guilt, impending doom, and things like that). So I don’t feel bad about saying “humming is a trigger of mine” because if I hear another person humming a tune I will start to have a physical and psychological response to that. I may not actually have a panic attack, but I do need to breathe deep and do what I usually do when I feel panic coming on. 

But for something I’m just not comfortable with for whatever reason, “squick” is the term I use. You’re right when you say that fandom circles to tend to associate “squick” with kinks you’re not into, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using it for non-kinks. Like, if I say I’m squicked out by student/professor relationships (except in roleplay) then that just means I’m not comfortable with those and would rather not read them. There isn’t anything wrong with that. To my understanding, “squick” is supposed to mean “I’m not comfortable with this” and you don’t have to justify why that is to anyone. You don’t have to explain your level of comfort or why it makes you uncomfortable, all you have to say is “it squicks me” and that should be enough. 

The issue with saying that something is a “trigger” when it isn’t is that it muddies the line between “this makes me uncomfortable and I’d rather not deal with it” and “this causes me actual distress and spurs negative reactions I cannot control”. Because here’s the thing, a person can put their squicks aside at times. A person can ignore mild discomfort, and might actually grow to like something that once squicked them (I think of A/B/O for this because a lot of people I talk to were initially squicked by A/B/O and changed their minds.) Triggers are much harder to overcome and they require a lot of work, dedication, and therapy to get to the point that they no longer bother a person. And sometimes a person will never get over a trigger. Sometimes a person needs to voluntarily and safely expose themselves to the trigger in order to get past it, sometimes they just can’t and they have to learn to live around that. 

So, my advice to you is that you use “squick” for things that make you uncomfortable but don’t cause severe physical and psychological distress and to explain to people who ask (if they ask (side note: I don’t think they should because what you don’t have to justify what you aren’t comfortable with to anyone else)) the difference between the two terms. “Trigger” is a strong word with strong connotations and should not be taken lightly. And, if that word doesn’t feel right, you can always say “I”m uncomfortable reading about X” and that should be good enough for anyone who asks. If it’s not and they want to give you shit about it, tell them to bite you. (Or send them my way, I’ll give ‘em what for.) 

I have things that bother me in fic because of rl events but I don’t
really have a mental illness

If it distresses you because of real life events then personally I feel like “trigger” is a fair term. Distress is individual; no one can tell you your real life-related distress isn’t meaningful enough to count. You might consider the “friend test”- if you would consider it distressing for a friend to have gone through it, then it counts.

That said, medically iffy usages also, as rosemoonweaver rightly points out, lead to jerks feeling less guilty about acting like jerks too. So it is a double-edged sword. And I feel like on balance, it’s pretty easy to err on the side of caution. So I also in the end think it’s better not to use words like “trigger” too lightly, if in fact you are not very distressed, and that in those cases “squick” is a better choice, or just “I’m not comfortable with that”. (I also recommend the all-purpose “I have issues” in some contexts. As in, “No thanks, I have issues” [wry laugh]. It’s light and humorous, and while it does make people curious, so it can lead to some awkwardness, it also makes them know they should back the fuck off if you indicate you’d rather not discuss it. Kinda like “we’re estranged” does)

Btw, the reason I’m really butting in (which I hope is okay, @rose) is that I want to second rose’s offer to bitchslap people for you if they hassle you after you use “squick” or “uncomfortable” in lieu of “trigger”. Because I will be happy to personally make them so uncomfortable with all the ugly TMI details around my triggers that they will have an entirely new appreciation for “uncomfortable” as a meaningful adjective. People get paid the big bucks to listen to that shit for a reason.

@chiisana-sukima Sorry it took me a bit to respond. I just want to let you know that I definitely don’t mind this addition to my answer. And you’re absolutely right about the point that what’s “significantly distressing” to one person may not be the same for another person. I just want to clarify that I in no think it’s up to other people “how traumatized” or “how distressed” a person is. I’ve been seeing a strain of gatekeeping recently that revolves around “you must be this traumatized to write/read/avoid X” and that is something I abhor. I don’t want to sound like one of those people, but I also don’t want to seem like I’m backpedaling on my statement. It’s a very personal issue, so I think it’s important for everyone to know what the terms mean and to judge for themselves their levels of comfort with things. There’s no shame in using a word like “trigger” if it qualifies but there’s also no shame in using a word like “squick” or a phrase like “I have issues with this” if “trigger” is too strong a word.
I think you put it best when you said: 
“
And I feel like on balance, it’s pretty easy to err on the side of caution. So I also in the end think it’s better not to use words like “trigger” too lightly, if in fact you are not very distressed, and that in those cases “squick” is a better choice, or just “I’m not comfortable with that”. (I also recommend the all-purpose “I have issues” in some contexts. As in, “No thanks, I have issues””

And if anyone feels the need to make anyone explain their squicks or triggers they can go sit on a cactus.