Tag: conversations

@unforth-ninawaters replied to your post “Maybe I shouldn’t be so jealous or petty but it bothers me that my…”

*hugs* I saw the other comments and replies to this…a certain type of manipulative abuser courts young, vulnerable or dependent people outside the family and treats them like gold. It shores them up in the public eye and in their own head it’s a way to hide from that niggling guilt that they done fucked up.

In these cases the ploy only works if they aren’t around the other person much. The more exposure the more the masquerade starts to wear off. I’ve seen this play out with my grandfather, FIL, and a friend in college. It’s not about you and is not your fault. He couldn’t care for you or treat you like you deserved because he’s incapable of that, just as he truly is incapable of It with the youth he’s mentoring. Because his kindness isn’t about them, it’s always about

Himself, and again – the longer they’re with him the more evident that will become. Hopefully they’ll have the tools to recognize the signs, cause I wouldn’t want them to be hurt, just as I wish you hadn’t been hurt.

*hugs* Thanks. I really do hope that something falls through and he doesn’t actually do mentoring or they recognize that he’s not fit for it. 

What’s always pissed me off, aside from the fact that he was out mentoring other kids instead of being a father was that he was always so much better and more inspiring to them than he was at home. I get why he does it I just wish he wouldn’t for a million reasons. I hate that he gets away with it and I hate that I can’t really do anything about it. He doesn’t listen and he doesn’t really seem to get it when he’s called on his behavior or he gets defensive and… yeah. He’s a pain in the ass. It’s not fair and it’s not okay but talking about it and having people who support me helps a lot. 

Hopefully something falls through and it doesn’t work out or they recognize he’s not fit for the job. 

@theriverscribe replied to your post:
@theriverscribe replied to your post:
…

I’m so sorry 😦 I grew up in an abusive household–solutions are never simple. If you ever need to vent, let me know *hugs if ok*

*hugs* Thank you. I’m sorry you grew up in an abusive household, too.

@dragonpressgraphics replied to your post “@maliciouslycreative replied to your post “Maybe I shouldn’t be so…”

hugs! i have a sort of similar situation w/ my father in law he doesn’t do that mentor thing. Instead, he gripes & tries to guilt trip his kids & say we dont make an effort but his (notreallyhis) girlfriend & HER kids do.

It pisses me off. We call for every b-day & holiday. we’ve invited him to all of his granddkids b-day parties. He’s shown up to ZERO. he doesn’t call for anyone’s b-days. there’s more but i’ll start ranting. Just

just i understand some and i’m sorry you have to put up with that kind of thing *HUGS*

*hugs* I’m sorry you’re dealing with that crap, too. It’s so annoying and completely unfair. He sounds like a total asshole. 

@maliciouslycreative replied to your post:
@samanddeaninpanties replied to your post “Maybe…

You are totally validated at being angry over this. My ex was exactly the fucking same. Well he didn’t drink but like everyone thought the fucking world of him. He could charm anyone. Well unless they got to be a good friend of mine then he’d be nasty to them or try and turn me against them. What I’m saying is abusers are A+ at fooling people.

I hate that they’re so good at it. I hate that they’re able to fool people into thinking they’re good and wonderful people. It’s unfair and I hate that you went through it, too.

@theriverscribe replied to your post:
Maybe I shouldn’t be so jealous or petty but it…

Maybe you could anonymously let the people he’s trying to mentor for know of his unwholesome behavior?

See, that would be an okay idea, but they’re not going to believe it. He’s a recovering alcoholic (he’s a dry drunk though, he was knocked out for a few months after an accident so he couldn’t drink instead of deciding to quit and work through the recovery process) so in their mind he’s a changed man. It doesn’t matter what I say, if it’s not currently happening and they can’t see it, they won’t care b/c he admits to being a “less than stellar father” in his words but he won’t go into details and he won’t admit it was his fault. They’re much more likely to believe their buddy than they are to believe me.

@samanddeaninpanties replied to your post “Maybe I shouldn’t be so jealous or petty but it bothers me that my…”

Who says he really cares? He might be doing it for his image. People eat that shit up.

Narcissistic people are generally really good at getting people they aren’t actively abusing to like them

Those are good points. I wouldn’t put it past him, seeing as how the people who wanted him to do it in the first place think the sun shines out of his ass. Everyone seems to think he’s amazing and it always pisses me off because this is the same man who used to get blackout drunk and verbally and mentally abuse us. He’s not the kind of man I’d want mentoring kids and it pisses me off that everyone thinks he’s a wonderful person but he’s not. He neglects everyone who *does* need him until he needs someone to rage at. He’s a self-centered dick but no one sees it and no one wants to believe it. And I hate all the asshats who fall for it and keep propping him up like he’s great. 

castiel-knight-of-hell:

rosemoonweaver:

sodagiraffe:

rosemoonweaver:

What’s it called when you’re writing a fic that’s kinda sorta canon verse but not? Like, (and no, this isn’t what I’m doing) if Dean were still a hunter but Sam was a weremoose and Charlie was a witch? Is that canon divergent or is there a specific category for that? 

I think canon divergence is when everything is the same until something happens differently, I’d define your situation as “everything is the same but Sam is a weremoose and Charlie is a with” or just put in “weremoose!Sam” and “witch!Charlie”

But what if it’s like, Dean’s a hunter but he doesn’t have a brother named Sam and Sam is a weremoose? Does that still count as canon divergent? 

Canon divergent is correct. That tag means your main basis for the story was canon but you took a different turn on one or more aspects. In this case you’d be using the world that Supernatural created, it’s rules about humans and monster, but you took a different turn when it came to established characters 

That makes sense. Thanks!