UPDATE: I know that you all are probably enough of me, but I don’t have anyone to run to. Is the same situation that before, minus everything that I needed to buy in meds to my mom. But I still need help. Please. I need to pay my rent next month and in December and I don’t know how I’ll do this. I am, since my mom died like crazy trying to find any job, but i can’t do housecleaning bc of my fibromyalgia. I am trying to be ok, i am better than i though that i could ever be, but i will gonna need help more than anything. Please if you can help me, donate to my PayPal. Anything will make a HUGE difference.Thank you all for everything.
The email for PayPal is taisxabranches@gmail.com and you need to choose payment for products. I can’t receive personal payments.
UPDATE 2: I truly don’t know what else to do. I’ll lost my house and everything that I had ‘til now. All the things of my mom. I can print screen my bank account funds to prove that I have R$45,00 on it. My rent is R$700,00, my light bill of this month is late, my internet is cut, I am using the wifi of my neighbor. I am feeling even MORE lost. In the name of God, someone help me. 😢
Had some help, but is still missing to pay my light bill. In 5 days they’ll cut my power. I can’t face this. Please, if you have ways, help me.
#this is the balthazar i wish the fandom acknowledged more #not just the celine dion/ titanic hate #he was an angel who lost his faith in heaven but never his love for his brother @rowdyhooliganism
FUCKING YES THANK YOU!!!! THIS ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!
Well, fans aren’t interested in the real Balthazar. They think they already know him, that he was just a witty, flamboyant playboy who didn’t give a fuck. But when Cas met that Balthazar, he said “you’ve gone insane.”
There’s something more important and much more fascinating going on with him, more than just his relationship with Cas or anything he’s remembered for in fanon. Unfortunately, no one cares.
*rubs hands together* Let’s talk a little about Balthazar shall we? He’s incredibly fascinating.
Balthazar lies. He deflects. He makes jokes out of serious situations. He drinks a lot and has lots of sex with humans. All of these behaviors are pretty typical of a character who’s trying to cope with stress, disappointment, and/or depression. Taking him at face value isn’t right because we know he’s slippery when it comes to the truth. His whole “oh I hated the movie” line about Titanic is probably what he’s known best for but that’s shown to be a huge lie in that very episode. No, there’s something a lot deeper going on with him and I think his first conversation with Castiel in 6×03 really drives home the point.
CASTIEL Why take them? Why run away? BALTHAZAR Because I could! What? What? I me– you’re the one who made it possible. The footsteps I’m following – they’re yours. What you did, stopping the big plan, the prize fight? You did more than rebel. You tore up the whole script and burned the pages for all of us. [ Laughs. ] It’s a new era. No rules, no destiny. Just utter and complete freedom. CASTIEL And this is what you do with it? BALTHAZAR Hey, screw it, right? I mean, dad’s not coming back. You might as well blow coke and jump on the bed. You proved to me we could do anything, so I’m trying everything. What difference does it make? CASTIEL Of course it makes a diff– it’s civil war up there! BALTHAZAR I know. CASTIEL If we can beat Raphael, we can end this! Just give me the weapons. BALTHAZAR [ Laughs. ] Do you know what’s funny about you? You actually believe that you can stop the fighting. It will never stop. My advice – grab something valuable and fake your own death. CASTIEL You’ve gone insane. Your little holiday is over. Raphael knows you’re alive by now.
To me, this isn’t about Balthazar being a playboy or a rebel, this is about Balthazar having given up. Nothing matters anymore. He took what he could to protect himself and left heaven because he decided whatever plan was in play wasn’t worth his life. Heaven is full of lies and God doesn’t care. He ran away because his faith was shattered and his life was in danger and now he’s not playing around just because, he’s trying to deal with it. He’s mention as being a “good soldier” several times, which we know is typical Heaven-speak for “follows orders and does a good job without questioning it” but that’s not the character we meet. Balthazar is a defector. He’s got his own opinions and ideas now, He doesn’t believe in heaven anymore and he doesn’t care about them either.
But that’s not to say that he doesn’t care at all. He obviously does care about Castiel (which I could talk about at length) but he also cares, at least a little, about doing the right thing. He could’ve ran after his confrontation with Castiel at the end of 6×03 but he chose to stay around and fight because even if he didn’t believe in Heaven, he believed in Cas. He might not have believed the fighting could be stopped in Heaven, but Cas wanted to try so he tried to help, probably because there was still a little part of him that wanted to do the right thing and had hope, even if there wasn’t much to have hope in. He was loyal to the people he chose to be loyal to (and no, going to Sam and Dean wasn’t a betrayal, it was what you’re supposed to do when you think your friend has gone off the rails and could get themselves killed). (And also, I’m still not sure about his introduction tbh. Selling weapons for souls? Especially when we later learn that he and Cas were trying to collect souls to stop Raphael? It makes me wonder if he was trying to take on Raphael on his own, though I suppose it could be argued he was just trying to get enough power to keep himself safe.)
Balthazar is complex. He’s a little lost and hopeless when we first meet him but he won’t show it. He’s a snarky asshole because it keeps him safe. He plays his feelings close to the vest. All these things scream of a backstory in which Balthazar realizes that there’s something rotten in Denmark and runs to save himself. It implies so much about who Balthazar is and what he’s not willing to do or be a part of and just how betrayed he really felt. Honestly, it frustrates me that we never knew exactly what it was that made Balthazar decide Heaven wasn’t worth it.
The new discovery is of particular note for its wealth of manuscripts, precious religious writings—in Hebrew and Yiddish—record books of shuls and yeshivas; mystical writings, and more. Additionally, the collection contains post-war and wartime materials, such as poetry written while in the Vilna Ghetto by Abraham Sutzkever. All other materials that have previously been found from this time period in Eastern Europe precede the outbreak of WWII.
I don’t like “alignment” terminology when it comes to describing non-binary gender. I also really hate the phrase “similar gender” when it’s used to describe attraction. (You know, the whole attracted to “same or similar genders” thing. wtf is that? Who decides what that even means?) To me, it feels like it imposes a “pick a side” mentality. I’ve seen “women/women-aligned people” clustered together and I’ve seen sentiments that you can be X sexuality (”wlw” mostly, which I have my own issues with but I won’t get into that now) if you’re “women-aligned” but not if you’re “man-aligned” and to me, a genderfluid person who feels strong pulls towards femininity and masculinity…. that seems like bullshit.
I get that non-binary genders complicate things. A system that’s built off binaries that tries to adapt to a non-binary reality is bound to have some complications and issues. And I do understand that some people are comfortable and happy with alignment terminology and its helps them describe their gender and that’s awesome! But to me it seems like it’s completely ignoring the reality of being non-binary. I grew up being treated like a girl but that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes I really wanted to be a boy. I mostly like being seen as a “beautiful young lady” by others but it doesn’t change the fact that I also want to be a “handsome young man”.
Basically, what I’m saying is that some people are comfortable and happy with “aligning” with a binary gender, but being non-binary is more complicated than being “close enough” to a man or woman.
Written for @rosemoonweaver ‘s ficoween celebration. Yes, I suck and I’m posting late. Sorry.
Rating: Explicit
Ship: Wincest
Warnings/Tags: AU, serial killer Sam, murder, cannibalism, no on-screen cannibalism, fear, jealousy, secrets, violence, kidnapping, stitches, latex gloves, doctor Sam, minor injuries, minor character death, frottage, insecure Dean, suspicious Dean.
Summary: Dean’s convinced Sam’s keeping secrets and is determined to get to the truth. Even if it hurts.
Thankfully, said secret isn’t what he’s anticipating. But in some ways this secret is definitely worse.
Dean doesn’t ask Sam if he can take time off work, he just calls in and asks if he can use a week’s worth of vacation days. They’re not happy about it but he’s given the go ahead.
After Sam leaves for his shift he collects pb&j sandwiches, beef jerky, energy drinks, chips, and whatever the hell else he wants for his long wait. It’s totally against the new diet he’s doing but can anyone blame him for a little stress eating?
He heads to the hospital and parks within viewing distance of the staff parking lot so he’ll know when Sam’s finished with work. Dean thumbs through Flowers in the Attic but he’s too angry to take in the words on the page so it’s not long before he’s tossing it on the passenger seat in disgust and grabbing a stick of beef jerky, taking a vicious bite out of it.
“Screw you, Sammy. Now I gotta re-start this dumb cleanse.”
This is a tough one, tbh. I think Kelly would like to write something hopeful for her son, and possibly something that tells hims a little bit about what her family is like, where she comes from, and what she hopes for for him. I’d probably wind up writing a sestina, which is actually a form I’m not usually a fan of but I think it would work for something like this. I wouldn’t want it to be too sad or too regretful, but I would like maybe a little element of “this is where you come from and this is maybe what you could be”. I feel like form poetry might actually work well for something between them. I’m not sure why, but I just think it would.
Thanks!
I’m medicated and loopy and really cheerful!
So come ask me stuff! You can send anons or whatever, just talk to me! 🙂
Hello loves! Chapter 2 of Lazarus Writing is here, for @rosemoonweaver ‘s Fic-O-Ween challenge. I hope you all enjoy!
Title: Lazarus Writing Rating: Explicit Ship: Destiel Warnings/Tags: Human!Cas, Writer AU, Bisexual Dean, Gay Castiel, Canon-typical violence and minor character deaths Prompt: Castiel is an author struggling to come up with his next novel. Luckily for them, a gift arrives in the mail from his publisher: a fancy new notebook and pen set with a note that promises to “bring new life to your writing”. It’s all fine until Castiel decides to write his grocery list in the back of the book… only to find the items have materialized in the kitchen. So, Castiel is in possession of some freaky magic which could be pretty amazing… if it weren’t for the fact that he just started a new novel in that book and the contents are not something he wants to see in this world. External Fic Link:Chapter 2 on Ao3!
Excerpt:
The Roadhouse gleamed like an unpolished gem. Warm golden light from the windows illuminated the front deck, all rough wood and scuffed tables. A large red neon sign flickered overhead, declaring “ROA HOUSF” over a drooping string of white Christmas lights. Through the half-open door Castiel could hear a low murmur of conversation, laughter, the clack of pool cues against their targets, and the twangy strains of Creedence Clearwater Revival.
And parked out front, sparkling in the warm, low light, was a black 1967 Chevy Impala.
Castiel forgot to breathe for long enough that he almost fell forward in the gravel.
This is Not a Blog 