Hey there, everyone! As you may have noticed I haven’t been super active on here recently and I’ve probably also been a little snappish. I’ve been pretty burnt out and things that used to be fun for me aren’t anymore. I’m hoping a small break might help me feel better and get me more excited about the things that I love.
I’m not in a good place mentally. I try to put on a good front but most days I’m just trying to ignore the fact that I hate my life and basically everything in it and have no hope for the future. I need to take a break and not let this swallow me. So I’m taking a step back and I’m going to re-evaluate things. I need a break from the crap I keep running in to. I need to breathe.
I have my queue set up and ready to go so you’ll still see posts from me but I’m not going to be on. I’ll still be running my hours at weekend writing marathon on Tuesday and Wednesday. I most likely won’t be back ‘til Friday.
Anyway I just wanted to let you all know what was going on. I’ll see you around, hopefully with some more enthusiasm and most of a completed afghan.
“I DON’T write, for the first two-thirds of the time allotted for completion of the script. This is a period of much contemplation, self-deconstruction, fever dreams, all while seated in front of the computer, NOT writing. Then, as the pressure of an imminent dead-line finally builds to the truly absurd, necessity alone drags the newborn of invention from my calloused womb. This last phase requires one to three ‘all-nighters’ with sporadic two hour naps, you know, the ones you use your cell phone alarm to terminate, which is not unlike getting a call from the belly of unpleasantness itself. There is the pit of four a.m. loneliness, that low hour when the coyotes are either asleep or trying to figure out what went wrong with their lives, the place where your only hope is to dive into the fictional, to order a story universe the way you cannot order your own.
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20,701 Archive Warnings: None Major Tags: Alternate Universe – Canon Divergence, Post-Season/Series 12, Eileen Leahy Lives, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Magic, Past Character Death, Sharing a Bed, First Kiss, First Time, Vaginal Sex, Sam Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Castiel/Dean Winchester (side pairing) – Freeform Summary: Sam is reeling after Eileen shows up, alive and totally unscathed, at the Winchester’s door. He’d seen her dead with his own two eyes, but apparently that’s just another one in the cruel string of fake-outs, near misses, and actual deaths his life has become these past thirteen years. He should be grateful that she’s alive, and he certainly is, but now he’s faced with the a reality that is somehow even worse. He’s still got feelings for her, and his drive to make sure she doesn’t wind up actually dead this time are putting a damper on whatever chance he thought they could have had at a real relationship. He doesn’t doubt her abilities, but he has no idea if he’s strong enough to make that leap.
This is Not a Blog 