Writers should be able to write characters that are different from them without automatically getting heat for it. Cis people should write trans and non-binary characters. Straight folks should write gay/lesbian/bi/pan/poly/ace characters. White people should write characters of color. Men should write women. People who experience romantic attraction should write aromantic characters. Christians should write Jews and Muslims. Neurotypical people should write neurodivergent characters. People should not have to be afraid of writing characters whose identity does not match their own.
If a writer does their research and attempts to tell about and featuring characters unlike themselves that’s a good thing. Expecting writers to stick only to writing characters whose identities match their own puts all the responsibility for representation on the people in those minority groups, and that’s ridiculous and unfair. It stifles the creativity of people who really do want to be inclusive in their work and limits representation.