fssdfs, I made the mistake of telling my mom once that I write for a hobby and she immediately asked ‘oh, what do you write, can I read some?’ aaahahaaa no. No.
Oh, god. Yeah, that’s my ultimate fear. They know I write and that I write fanfic but they thankfully have not asked to see it yet. I don’t mind them reading my gen stuff (okay, that’s a lie, I do) but I might die if they found the less family friendly stuff.
My family has read my original stuff before. It’s less sexual but usually more violent. That also makes me want to crawl in a hole and hide, though. But then again that might be why they haven’t asked about the fanfic. lol.Why is sharing something with a person you know so much more painful than posting it for strangers to see? I don’t get this, it’s like, you would think because you know them and like them and they’re supportive that it would be easier, but then, you can’t get away from them because you know them and what if they don’t like it? It’s strange. I don’t want my mom seeing my fanfic for very, very obvious reasons, but I also get uncomfortable thinking about Nick reading my fanfic when he’s been the direct source and inspiration for some of it? I talk about what I write with Nick, but I get squirmyweird thinking about him actually reading it. Is it just inadequacy issues? Idk.
I think it’s cause you have to actually see people you know if that makes any sense. Like, for me personally, if someone I care about is reading my work I’m gonna watch them read it or pace the bathroom until they finish reading it. And then you have to look them in the face and hear what they think. I’d much rather read a comment. Then at least I don’t have to look a person in the eyes while they tell me “yeah it was good” or “I didn’t like it” or whatever. That’s how I make sense of it.
This is Not a Blog 